I’m such a glass-half full kinda girl, and man, this video just twisted my heart.
The main premise is this: What good is life and all of the good and beautiful things if they’re just going to die and disappear someday? They will all be meaningless someday, so why bother.
Jason Silvia goes on to say that beautiful things, like love, make us sad, they leave us wanting more because deep down, we know that it’s temporary. He says that he often feels nostalgic over something he hasn’t even lost yet because he sees its transcendence.
I know that feeling. I have friends that I love so dearly, but miss them at the same time because I know that there will come a time in my life when our lives find fewer and fewer overlaps until one day, it’s all done.
Despite that temporary feeling, Silvia challenges us. He asks, “Do we pretend not to care that everything and everyone we know is going to be taken away from us?” and refutes it as his personal view, saying he can’t accept that, and finds inspiration in this Dylan Thomas quote:
“I will not go quietly into that good night, but instead rage against the dying of the light.”
He closes saying, “I will not let go. I will not accept the ephemeral nature of this moment. I’m going to extend it forever…or at least I’m going to try.”
Coming off of a delicious Thanksgiving meal with my family here in DC, I felt compelled to take a look back and acknowledge where I was at this time last year.
Last year I spent last Thanksgiving alone, having been at odds with my parents and in the middle of a falling out with a dear friend (which consequently black listed me from the rest of my friend group).
There was a lot of confusion going on in my life during that time, and looking back, experiencing that night sad and alone is what I needed.
I won’t get into the nitty gritty details, but I was not in a happy place with really any facet of my life. I didn’t wake up the next day ready to do a 180, but a few light bulbs definitely went off, and set the course for a big action to follow over the next year.
I spent 10 days in a small Puerto Rican surf town the following month getting way from everything and trying hard to reflect on what I really wanted 2013 to look like.
Over this past year, and really the past six months, I’ve made a lot of big changes: got my health in order, moved to Brooklyn, got a roommate after 3 years of living alone, had some very honest conversations with people dear to me, wrestled with the truth of those conversations and acted accordingly, challenged myself and actually acknowledged those accomplishments, and I’m continuing to look inward and manifest what I discover in my everyday outward approach.
And by no means, have I “arrived”, but I feel so much more “on my way” than I ever have before. There are still things, people, and situations in my life that need some working out, but they’ll get there.
I guess, the tl:dr is this: I’m so thankful for a year’s worth of perspective to give me the confidence to know that I’ve got what it takes to be the woman that I want to become.
this week’s horoscope: take it there or endure
I don’t read much into my horoscope, but it’s something I look at every sunday night, just because.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Strive to be shrewd enough to discern between instances in which it behooves you to 'go there' (i.e., to confront an unpleasant matter head-on, so you might gain a more personally advantageous stronghold in the disputed situation) and those aggravating circumstances which should probably just be endured like a champ (because trying to engage will only make things messier and more of a real problem). As your own discrete individual, Aries, you’re presently hosting some fairly decent out-in-the-world luck and a nice punch of productive vim-and-vigor… which are yours for the taking if and only if you can successfully hold back the infringement of other parties’ disruptive participation into your sphere-of-activity when it’s neither helpful nor desired. And it’s on you to assess whether you can legitimately limit your exposure to this potential complicating-factor without having to be explicit about it, or whether this situation demands direct attention. Of course, if you did in fact sign on for this involvement at an earlier point (only later rethinking the wisdom of that choice), your only fair response in the short-term may well be to grin and bear it
SnapChat makes me lonely
It really bothers me when people say, “I don’t get SnapChat.” because really, there’s nothing to actually get.
You take a photo or video, add doodles and text and send it off.
But, lately I’ve been thinking that that might be why SnapChat makes me feel lonely. Through all of our social networks, we expect some sort of affirmation via a Like/Comment/Share/whathaveyou. Even if we don’t want to admit that that’s our intention, science says otherwise.
With SanpChat, there isn’t a native function for feedback, which is the complete point. Maybe someone will snap you something back, maybe they won’t. It doesn’t matter either way, but it can’t help but feel slightly foreign to take a social action that doesn’t have an inherent feedback mechanism (which goes to show how conditioned we’ve become to social media functions).
Maybe this is just me, maybe it’s not.
I’ve been reading a lot about Snapchat lately, here are a few posts:
A Thursday in San Fran Francisco.
I’m a big fan of vacation and I’m a big fan of food. When friends, tacos, ice cream and palm trees are involved, I couldn’t be more happier. Thankfully my dear friend R.J. and I were headed to the west coast for a few days to get a little sun and a lotta delicious eats.
Neither of us had ever really spent more than a day or so in San Francisco, and unlike R.J., the last time I was there, I was about 10 years old and didn’t really remember much about my visit.
Without knowing a lot about San Francisco, we decided on finding an Airbnb apartment to rent in the Mission district after consulting with friends who’d been to SF. Wanting to eat tacos at any chance we could, it was the perfect location.
Our first stop of the trip was Taqueria Cancun. Quick, dirty, and delicious. We both loved the chorizo taco — it was the perfect “welcome to San Francisco” treat.
After feeling revitalized, we wandered the streets of our weekend town and found ourselves at Dolores Park.
I was so happy to be under a blanket of blue skies with palm trees in plain sight.
After hanging out in the park for a bit, we moseyed towards our apartment and stopped at Bi-Rite Creamery on our way back. Their ice cream is made with organic and sustainable ingredients, something I of course would expect from an ice cream shop in San Fran. Thanks to their generosity with sampling, I was practically full before I finally settled on their super fresh espresso ice cream.
It was the perfect first day.
Without getting into too many details about the rest of the places we went while in SF (because it’s 11:22pm and I’m in a hotel room in Georgia and want to go to bed so bad), here’s a few of the places from our 4 days that I loved and would totally recommend:
Philz Coffee: A staple in the Mission neighborhood. I’m not typically one to get cream or sugar in my coffee, but their Ecstatic Ice Coffee made me question why I ever stopped. On our last morning, I actually rerouted my cab ride to the airport so I could grab one last cup (my taxi driver actually grabbed a cup himself).
St. Francis Fountain: I HAD A PANCAKE WITH BACON IN IT. I think that’s all you need to know, Now, go eat it. Don’t think, just chew.
PIzzaria Delfina: Even though I wasn’t hungry (at all), I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to split a pie, sit outside, and sip wine under a beautiful blue sky.
Coptia Taqueria: Though not on the water, this was the perfect little spot in Sausalito to rest our legs and enjoy a smooth margarita after walking the Golden Gate Bridge.
Bar Tartine: We got served the best here because R.J.’s sister works here and has a keen taste for all things delicious. A few jars of pickled veggies, a warm Kale salad, potatoes prepared two different ways left us full enough to almost consider taking a taxi home from there.
Looking back on our trip, we ate so well and had a blast just kinda hanging out. Despite not feeling the need to visit SF again for awhile, I could be swayed with food.
wooooah, we’re half way there || Whole30, part 1
I’m halfway through the Whole30! Before I dive in and tell you how I’ve fared for the first two weeks, here’s a little background on what exactly the Whole30 is about:
On the surface, the Whole30 menu looks a lot like the Paleo diet (low carb, high protein), but think of it more as an elimination diet, except there’s no 80/20 balance either — no cheating, no indulgences for one month. For one month, it completely strips away “hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups,” considered to be grains, sugar, dairy, alcohol, and legumes. Equally as important as eliminating these groups is not to be tempted to “junkify” their old favorites — for example a meaty “Paleo pizza” or “coconut-flour pancakes” are off-limits. For Whole30 participants, it’s not about stretching the rules of the diet to their furthest limits. It’s about learning to enjoy whole, clean, simple foods that fuel your body.
I’ve wanted to do the Whole30 since February when I went to Virginia to visit my friend Jenny. She told me that her and her fiance did it to kick off 2013.
My first thought: No alcohol for a whole month? Nope. Before you get the wrong idea, no, I’m not dependent on alcohol, but living in NYC, it’s in the very fabric of one’s social life.
Spring came, then summer. I lived it up: I went to the beach 7 times, ate a ton of delicious food, went to a lot of weddings, spent a lot of time on rooftops and at concerts, and ended the summer with a move to Brooklyn. All the while, I the thought of doing a Whole30 was in the back of my head. As summer slowed down, so did life.
For the first time in my 3 years and 5 apartments, I felt…settled. Without feeling a swell of chaos (even good chaos), I decided to jump in and take on a Whole30.
I did a ton of reading on people’s experience and basically read the Whole 9 Life website from beginning to end. While I typically try to east mostly whole foods and as local and organic as possible, the Whole30 would really put this into perspective. The weekend before starting, I had basically anything with sugar I could get my hands on. I went out of my way to have a muffin and an iced mocha at breakfast. Though my typical breakfast consists of plain greek yogurt, berries and coffee with a touch of skim milk, my subconscious (ok, maybe my conscious) was freaking out about not having sugar for 30 days. I ended the night with a scoop of ice cream and prepared for the coming 30 days of whole food.
To be honest, the first week wasn’t bad. I ate salads for lunch, cooked turkey burgers and lots of green veggies for dinner, and made a big batch of Whole30 approved chili for the nights I didn’t really have time to cook. Surprisingly, it wasn’t hard.
As the weekend approached, I started to feel nervous about socializing and not drinking. “Maybe, I’ll do everything according to the Whole30 except for eliminating alcohol,” I thought to myself. “Let’s play it by ear.”
My sister came to town Friday night and we had a cozy night in, cooking dinner and catching up. The next day we explored Soho and grabbed lunch with my friend Jon. The two of them got margaritas, I sipped on sparkling water. Later in the evening, we went out with a few girlfriends. They all ordered delicious cocktails, I kept on sipping water. The night progressed and we found ourselves at a Girltalk concert at Brooklyn Bowl. Being sober in a crowd of people dancing and screaming is an interesting experience, but fun nonetheless.
Making it through Saturday gave me the oomph I needed to fully commit to not drinking whatsoever during the Whole30. Even with parties, happy hours, events and other engagements, I’ve had a great time sans alcohol.
Being halfway through the Whole30, I’ve noticed some definite changes:
- Amazing sleep. I’m notorious for having poor sleeping habits. Most nights I only get 5 to 6 hours of sleep, often patchy and restless. For the first time in a long time I’ve had wonderful, deep, restful sleep. Even with my busy lifestyle I haven’t felt exhausted they way I did prior to the Whole 30.
- Mental Clarity. I always thought that my inability to focus early in the morning or later in the day was just a result of my lifestyle: fast-paced work environment, busy social life, general city hecticness. After 15 days of sticking to the Whole30, I feel as though a cloud has been lifted. It’s a weird feeling to describe, but I can honestly say that I’ve been thinking better thanks to the Whole30.
- Feeling Lighter. Some people do the Whole30 to lose weight. While I’m not complaining if it’s peripheral benefit to this whole thing, it isn’t my primary intention. I don’t own a scale and didn’t step on it at the gym before I started the Whole30. That said, I’ve felt an overall lightness when it comes to my body in these past two weeks and I think my pants are fitting better (just in time for cooker weather). Win, win.
Not everything has been roses, but the pros have totally outweighed the cons. Sure, I’m tired of asking a zillion questions and making modification to anything I order at a restaurant, I want to eat cheese so bad, and I’ve seriously dreamed about ice cream more than once, but I’m feeling proud and excited about getting half way through this.
I can’t wait to write an update again in two weeks and celebrate this big accomplishment.
shells, stories, everything in between
My dear friend RJ and I are starting a blog about tacos. We laid on the beach today wondering how we came up with the idea in the first place. I insisted that it started with a work trip we took to California back in February, he says it might have been our solution to him leaving the agency we worked at and being a way to still create together.
Either way, it’s here (very “beta” still). The process has been a lot slower than we originally intended, but I think it’s moving at the right pace given our busy lives. And that’s really the beauty of this thing - no clients to answer to, no internal deadlines to keep, no chain of command to run the work through before getting it out the door. This is our fun little side project and we have the luxury of playing around and experimenting.
The primary premise of the blog is conversations with our friends and people we admire and who inspire us over a delicious meal of tacos. There will be a other taco related things in between, but we hope to use this blog to show off our amazing friends. We’re so lucky and blessed to know people doing great, exciting, interesting and amazing things, we think it’s only fair to share their stories with you.
We’re finalizing the design and such on the site, and definitely still crawling, but it’s coming along and we’ll be walking and running soon. After reading Steal Like and Artist, I’ve been motivated to make and do, without the notion of perfection. For a Type A, somtimes-perfectionist and planner like me, it’s been a really big eye opening experience, but so rewarding.
Feel free to follow along on our little taco journey.
It’s going to be delicious.