My dear Sarah is getting married and is a total nerd and asked me to be her bridesmaid via a Star Wars pun, which of course is why I love her. Can’t wait!
The clock said 11:00pm and both of us were yawning. “I’m ready to go, but can we still try the bike?” I asked eagerly. I’ve been so antsy when it comes to being physically active since my knee injury and surgery, and I wanted to see what my knee could handle. “Oh, yes!”
We walked downstairs and Rae unlocked her bike. “You be good to my Meghan”, she told it as we wheeled it onto the street. I put my hand on both handles and hesitated. “Ahhhhhhhhh!” flew through my lips with excitement and nervousness and I stepped over the bike with my right leg. My left leg went to pedal forward and I fumbled, unsure about how my right leg would react. I switched and put my right leg forward and pushed the pedal.
I WAS MOVING!
It was happening.
"OH MY GOD, I’M RIDING A BIKE!" I screamed with excitement to Rae, tears bursting from my eyes and I zig zagged across her quiet street. "YAY!!!" she yelled back with equal fervor. I did a few circles and rode up next to her for a long embrace.
"I’M SO HAPPY!"
I did a few more circles, just to make sure this was actually happening; that it wasn’t some fluke.
This week’s Week In Scraps is mostly dedicated to the trip I took up north to Maine for my cousin Briana’s wedding. I don’t get to see my extended family too often, and this trip made me realize that I want to see them more than just once or twice a year. It’s so nice to have such a joyous occasion to gather around, but I’m looking forward to going up north with no agenda except for a few days on a lake, the ocean, or hanging out somewhere in the woods (shocking words for this city girl, huh?).
- There’s a new coffee shop on my block called re.union. I’m 100000% excited about it because until then, there was really no coffee shop on the way to work. I’ve had the chance to talk to the owners a few times and they’re awesome people and really are here to keep the spirit of the neighborhood.
- Molly and Trent came up the night before I left for Maine and I showed them around Williamsburg (not the real Williamsburg, but ya know). We went to Space ninety 8, aka Urban Outfitters and took some photo booth photos. Trent insisted on Sepia; good call dude.
- Briana and Brandon’s wedding program was very…”them.” Fun, casual, and full of authentic love. I’d never met Brandon, but seeing him and Briana’s relationship unfold from a far (read: on Facebook), they just seemed to be in love with each other in a way that I hadn’t seen from many other people.
- Oh, speaking of weddings, apparently miss Briana’s false eyelashes didn’t hold up through the ceremony. After I walked though the receiving line, her sister the maid of honor handed me the falsies and said, “Can you do something with these?” I went ahead and put them in my makeup case, only to discover them a few days later. Bri, you looked beautiful with and without them. ;)
- Road trips = shitty coffee (Starbucks) and a poor nutritional choices (milk duds and bbq chips)
- After 8 or so hours in the car on the way back to NYC, we were STARVING and found ourselves in Connecticut. RJ always talks about Connecticut pizza, so I shot him a text and he recommended Pepe’s. It hit the spot, but I’m not sure what all the hype was about. Sorry, Rg.
Creativity builds off itself.
"You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have." - Maya Angelou
What you’re creating doesn’t even have to be good, certainly not in the beginning. That’s not the point. The point is to start creative work to inculcate the habit of thinking differently and having something to show for it.
"The most important possible thing you can do is do a lot of work." - Ira Glass
Since it can be hard to think of new ideas off the bat the best way to start creating is to simply copy others. Re-draw that Monet piece. Copy the prose of your favorite writer. Try to get into the mind and shoes of an artist you admire. After copying for a while, you’ll soon to develop your own voice.
The more you create, the more you’ll have to play with. You can showcase your best work while refining your old. You can be learning new techniques to integrate into your existing skill set. The palette is indefinite.
Once you choose yourself and do the work people start to look at you as the artist they admire. So keep creating, even on the days you don’t feel it. Keep building the creative muscle.
Yes, yes, yes. This weekend I was thinking about the people in my life who put in hard work, late hours, and missed social outings on top of everything else in their life to make and create. Jess and Carla come to mind.
In a city like New York, it feels very easy to get caught in between these two worlds: go out, be social, and get “caught up in it all” or hide yourself away, work on side projects, etc. and sort of become a hermit. Of course, the answer to this is balance, but man, it’s difficult.
If I’m being honest, the more time I put into “doing my own thing” the greater I’m aware of what I’m not doing, who I’m hanging out with, the group memories I’m not making. In short, I’ve experienced a spike FOMO. The good thing though, is that I know it’s all worth it.
- There’s been an abundance of band-aids in my purse this week: I wore a new pair of shoes this week and they tore up my heels and I cut my finger attempting to open a bottle of wine. Life is hard.
- Jess left me a sweet little note to come back to tonight. She spent 4 weeks in my apartment while she was going through yoga training and it was just such a lovely time. I’m SO thankful to know her.
- I have a love/hate relationship with networking events. They’re awkward, always 101 level, and hard to prove their value. Anyways, Bea and I went to an event for about 10 minutes and then skidaddled. We did manage to down a glass of wine before peacing out, though.
- Grazina gave me an extra punch card from Hale and Hearty because she’s my hero.
- #Notetoself: you have PT on Tuesday and Thursday with Ty and Johnny. Also, this is not an effective way to remember appointments. Put it in your calendar.
- We celebrated Abby’s birthday on Saturday at Pig and Khao, a place I’ve wanted to try for the past year and a half. So happy I finally got a chance - the food was delicious and the event was momentous. Happy Birthday, Abby!
9 weeks & over the hump.
It’s been 9 weeks since my surgery and as I sit back and try to decide if that was a short or long time ago, I’m in awe of what’s been accomplished in this ambiguous amount of time.
I went from a swollen, pained, immobile leg, to a still swollen (albeit MUCH less), 70% mobile leg with only a little bit of pain here and there. It almost feels like a switch; life before 9 weeks post-surgery and life after it.
On Friday my physical therapist told me that I’d made some really awesome progress in the past two weeks. “8 weeks is really the turning point. The graft is fully intact. Your knee is finally stable; you can begin to trust it.”
And that’s where I am now, attempting to cognitively trust my knee. Physically, I get it. I’ve been off crutches for about a month, I’m out of my post-surgery brace and back into my pre-surgery brace (much lighter, more flexible). Heck, I’ve even began to ease heels back into my wardrobe.
Mentally though, it’s another story. I can go up stairs normally without a problem, but going down is another story. I don’t trust my right leg to support me as my left leg takes a step down. I will literally hesitate for 3 seconds between steps replaying how to physically maneuver the short staircase out of my apartment. Once I get going on a few stairs, I’m usually good to go, but it’s only because I’ve actively convinced myself to trust my knee. It’s yet to become hard knowledge or second nature, but I trust that it’s coming along.
If I try to run across the street as the light changes, it looks like a weird and awkward jog, and currently it takes me 10 minutes on a stationary bike to ride one mile. Both activities, well below my body’s optimal performance, but I’m trying hard to recognize these as victories considering the state of my knee just a few weeks ago.
This week I went to the gym for the first time since my injury. Truth be told, I wish I had gone sooner than 9 weeks, but I hadn’t felt confident enough in my knee to support me until now. I met with a personal trainer and as we went through the exercises - lunges, squats, weighted step ups, even mini-wall hops - I was in such awe. With his guidance and spot, I was able to prove to myself that I was capable of way more than my injury led me to believe. I didn’t do all of these exercises to the fullest extent of my ability, but to know that 9 weeks ago I was miserable with the worst pain of my life and that even last month I was still in crutches; I called this workout session a bit of a win.
Jack my trainer gave me a high-five and noted that I my ability was a lot better than he’d expected. ”Can I hug you?” I responded. “I just feel so good and excited about finally being able to do this. I didn’t know I could until you helped me.” He opened his arms and I went in for it. Thank God he’s a hugger.
As you grow older, it gets harder and harder to believe in magic. You know, to find awe and wonder in your everyday life. I’m so used to solving my own problems and finding the quickest, most efficient way to get from A to Z. With this whole ACL experience being the first of it’s kind and very, very out of my control for the most part, I’m experiencing magic every day and am so thankful that our bodies are designed to let us in on it.
Notes from planning meeting w/Carbon Mirage - so much going on in the next few months.
Receipt from Physical Therapy. I’m so thankful for health insurance, but man, $20 three times a week adds up.
Had brunch w/my friend Anne on Saturday. She was my neighbor when I lived in Hawaii and Virginia and now she lives here (we’re not neighbors).
Celebrated Karen’s Birthday at Battery Harris on Saturday night. Happy Birthday, Karen!
The Bagel Smith writes your order on a yellow post it and apparently if you tell them to keep it easy on the cream cheese, they draw a downward arrow. I have no idea what that circle means. Jess is still living w/me and we took our bagels back to the apartment and sat on the balcony. It was a lovely Saturday morning.
The back of the Urban Outfitters receipt is fun. What’s not fun is spending $37 on Instax film when it’s a heck of a lot cheaper on Amazon. #liveandlearn
Visitor pass from a client meeting in New Jersey in which we spent more time in the car than we did in the meeting because NYC traffic is just that bad.
A quick follow up to yesterday’s “weekend in an instax" post, I’ve scanned my "weekend in scraps" a la adamjk’s series. This is my first go at collecting and scanning things from my weekend and it was fun!
- Internet Friendship bracelet from Adam after meeting him at Pete’s Mini Zine Fest
- Balloon promoting Adam’s book, “1 Page at at Time”
- Are You You Shantell Martin exhibit brochure from MoCADA
- Post card that came with the bill at the Whythe hotel’s rooftop bar, “The Ides”
a weekend in an Instax:
- Last month when I was healing from surgery, I would take a taxi to PT and always pass 5 Leaves and see people eating breakfast outside on a weekday. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO EAT BREAKFAST AT FIVE LEAVES!? I would angrily wonder. Well, this Friday - it got to be me! Many thanks to Rocco, for joining me for a lovely breakfast outside on my day off. We walked past the park and I made him stop on his bike for a picture.
- I saw Shantell Martin’s exhibit on the 2nd to last day of it’s run MoCADA. It was so lovely and beautiful, I started crying the minute I walked into the exhibit hall. Maybe it had something to do will the stillness of the room (I was the first one at the museum the minute it opened) - I don’t know. It was just so great, I can’t even describe it, but the New Yorker does a really great job in this short video.
- David and I went to St. Balmain, my most favorite spot in my neighborhood for brunch or just a really good cup of coffee. One of his coworkers is some how connected to the restaurant, so he’d been eager to go and we’d been eager to catch up. David is a friend that just…knows my heart and I’m SO thankful for that. We moseyed to St. Anselm (there were lot’s of saints in our Sunday, appropriate, I guess) for a few mimosas to round out or visit.
- Hung out with Kaitlin, Sarah, and Grazina at the Wythe Hotel. The weather was perfect, albeit a bit windy. My skirt kept flying up, but I wore shorts underneath for that very purpose.
- This is Grazina in her element.